November 22, 2014

Apocalypse Cos

Forgive me in advance for not knowing exactly how many women have come forward to accuse Bill Cosby of drugging and raping them. At last count, I think it was sixteen. Naturally, the numbers do not matter. If .even one time, Cosby drugged a date and took advantage of her, that behavior is unconscionable and must be condemned in the firmest way possible.

Bill Cosby. I've never known a world without him in it, making me laugh. I regularly watched his television shows and I've seen most of his movies, but to me his stand up comedy is the real meat and potatoes of his large body of work. Routines like "Chicken Heart," "Noah: Right!" and "Buck, Buck" are unforgettable. Through his comedy, Cosby showed us humans who we really were, with all our foibles, and gave us permission to laugh about it. In that regard, I would have to say he is a hero, someone who shaped my view of the world more than I probably even realize.

Now, at this late stage of his life, when he should reaping the rewards and accolades of a life well lived and a job well done, Cosby has instead been cast into the harshest of spotlights. The charges are so ancient, that there can seemingly be no proof as to whether he did or did not do the things he is accused of doing. All we have are the words of the accusers and the faintly damning silence of the accused.

I certainly do wish every one else on the planet would stop shouting "Guilty!" or "Innocent!". Unless you were in the bedroom or jacuzzi or wherever with Bill Cosby and his alleged victims, your opinion as to Bill Cosby's guilt or innocence means exactly nothing and probably just reflects how you feel about Bill Cosby, regardless of the current situation. In the last few weeks, I have never seen a faster or harsher rush to judgment than what I have witnessed in this matter. Is it because Cosby is such a legend, so big he must have an epic fall? Is it because rape is such a hot button issue? Whatever the case, all this armchair juroring only obfuscates the legitimate reporting. Didn't McCarthyism teach us anything?

The question that keeps going through my mind is "Why?" Why would Bill Cosby do these things? At the time of these alleged activities, Cosby was a young, handsome and wealthy comedian and actor. I can't imagine a scenario in which ladies weren't standing in line to go to bed with him. What's more, he could have afforded any call girl's price. I can buy that Bill Cosby had a hitherto unseen dark side. Many geniuses do. However, it is very hard for me to conceive that Bill Cosby drugged and raped women as a kind of deviant sexual hobby.

And yet, I don't know the truth. Hannibal Buress doesn't know the truth.You don't know either, unless you're Bill Cosby or the women who are making these terrible claims. One would think that an artist who has given so much laughter and insight to a world that desperately needs laughter and insight could at least be shown the courtesy of not being lynched in the court of public opinion until more information comes to light.

But, this being America in the first part of the 21st Century, that's not going to happen. Therefore, I suggest we take a poll. We must poll Americans and ask them whether or not they like Jell-O. If the majority of Americans say they like Jell-O, then Cosby will be cleared of all suspicion. If the majority is against Jell-O, then we will boil up a huge vat of Jell-O pudding, and dip Bill Cosby in it, and then cover him with feathers. Then we will tie him to a stake and force him to listen to the comedy stylings of Hannibal Buress.

On second thought, never mind. That idea is as crazy as a kangaroo court.